waiting on pins and needles May 16, 2008

While I’m waiting to see where I will place in the 2008 Winter Rose Contest  (calls go out today so cross your fingers & toes) I hope you enjoy this little bit of fun from my friend Mrs. Smith.

For all those dads out there that pull your weight and then some (like DH) sorry but it’s still not the same as what us moms handle.

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES 

Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids
each for six weeks.

Each kid will play two sports and either take music or dance classes

There is no fast food.

Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, and complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of ‘pretend’ bills with not enough money.

In addition, each man will have to budget in money for groceries each week.

Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and
relatives, and send cards out on time.

Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.

He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Urgent Care.

He must also make cookies or cup cakes for a social function.

Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house,
planting flowers outside and keeping it presentable at all times.

The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.

The men must shave their legs, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails manicured and eyebrows groomed.

During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe
abdominal cramps, back aches, and have extreme, unexplained mood swings. But never once complain or slow down from other duties.

They must attend weekly school meetings, church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.

They will need to read a book and then pray with the children each
night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7 :00 am.

A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will
be required to know all of the following information: each child’s
birthday, height, weight, shoe size, clothes size and doctor’s name.
Also the child’s weight at birth, length, time of birth, and length of
labor, each child’s favorite color, middle name, favorite snack,
favorite song, favorite drink, favorite toy, biggest fear and what they want to be when they grow up.

The kids vote them off the island based on performance. The last man wins only if…he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.

If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

40 is the new 30? (snort) I wish! May 16, 2008

Well it’s here, the big diddley-day! Funny I don’t feel a day over 39.

It’s not so bad really. All my friends exept for one have hit this milestone before me and I made so much fun of them that I’m expecting an avelanche of old age jokes and Depends deliveries.

I share my birthday with some famous and slightly quirky folks… figures.

Tori Spelling 1973                                                                               (for Debbie in NY)

Janet Jackson 1966

Rosie Perez 1963

Kevin McDonald 1961

Mare Winningham 1959

Debra Winger 1955

Olga Korbut 1955

Pierce Brosnan 1953

Liberace 1919

Henry Ford 1905

I’m not too old to appreciate a man with a big gun and to want to pop that f@#$ing balloon and get a real birthday surprise. And then there’s the annual blowing out of the candle (it works both ways you know!).

Guess I’m not dead yet!

 

 

 

 

 

 

i read your book May 14, 2008

 I love books. In fact there is nothing better I love than a new book. Three of my favorite authors have new books coming out and I can hardly wait. Nora Robert’s 2nd book in the Sign of Seven Trilogy The Hollow is out now.

                    Elizabeth Lowell’s Blue Smoke and Murder comes out May 27th.

 

But the one I am most eager to read is Janet Evanovich’s  Fearless Fourteen, the 14th book in the Plum series that doesn’t come out until June 17th. If only she’d write faster! <<sigh>>

What new books are you dying to read? 

 

 

I want what I haven’t got May 13, 2008

Friday is my birthday and it got me to thinking about what I’ve got and what I want. For the most part my life is everything I have ever wanted. I have a great husband, 2 terrific kids, we live in a nice house close to family and we have everything we need.

But there are still a few things that I haven’t got that I want. Some of them make no sense, some of them make perfect sense. Here’s my list.

1. I want long, thick, flowing hair like the women on the covers of romance novels.

2. I want the body I had at 20 to go along with my 40 year old mind and face (cause it still looks pretty good).

3. I want my drink at the coffee house to be made perfectly for me each and every time.

4. I want my kids to do what I tell them, the first time I tell then without any fuss, eye rolling or back-talking.

5. I want to be able to play and read music.

6. I want a car that never runs out of gas.

7. I want my finger and toe nails to stop growing at the perfect length.

8. I want body hair that stays shaved off, plucked out and waxed.

9. I want shoes that don’t pinch, hurt or make me want to chop my feet off.

10. I want a house that stays clean forever.

11. I want dinner to cook itself.

12. I want to be able to walk out the door and know that this day will be the best day ever. Every day.

13. I want weather that changes according to my mood.

14. I want nothing but green lights and no traffic.

15. I want people to stop hurting each other.

16. I want people to accept each other for who and what they are.

17. I want children to laugh and never cry. 

18. I want computers to psychically know what I want them to do.

19. I want the world to be fair.

20. I want my children to have long and happy lives.

What do you want?

**post a comment on my blog from now until May 16th (my bday) and be entered to win an assortment of books from my library. 2 chances to win. (I have alot of books!)

teacher, teacher teach me more May 12, 2008

“Let us think of education as the means of developing our greatest abilities, because in each of us there is a private hope and dream which, fulfilled, can be translated into benefits for everyone and greater strength for our nation.”
John F. Kennedy

May 6th was Teacher Appreciation Day. Our school is celebrating it this week, all week. Parents and grandparents decorated the teachers’ parking spaces, bring coffee, lunch, flowers and cards made by the students. Having sat in the classroom on too many occasions to count, I have a great appreciation for the work teachers do inside and outside the classroom. My sister-in-law teaches 4th grade and my father-in-law teaches at a Junior College so I’ve heard from them all of the struggles they face, the triumphs they make and the pleasure they get out of it all.

In California our Govenator wants to slice the public school budget next to nil. You’re going to think I lied when I said I was not very polical, but in some instances I am. Hearing the panic in the teachers’ voices when they talk about the fact that they’ve run out of copy paper and the PTA has to sponser a fundraiser to buy more, watching students play on playground equipment that’s at least as old as I am, seeing students share books because there aren’t enough to go around…. I could go on and on.

Check out the cute frog, now click on him and fill out a petition that will be sent to the Gonvenator to let him know that he can’t do that to our children, to our future. Oh, and tell me about your favorite teacher and if you have kids tell me about their favorite teacher.

 

I’m ready for my closeup May 12, 2008

We live in a neighborhood with all boys and one budding movie director. Jack is 12 and has just completed his 4th movie. He has chosen only the best actors to appear in his films and carefully selected the film locations. His latest film Halo 2 was released May 9th and was celebrated with a huge cast party and a sleepover in a tent in the backyard.

He really blew the budget on this one by creating nearly 10 Lego models of space ships and one halo ring (see floating ring in photo). He kept the prop guys busy making alien creatures out of blankets, rounding up every water gun in the neighborhood and creating props such as the huge model of earth that can be seen from the alien king’s escape shuttle. An amazing feat. Jack scored his film with music from the great composer (whoever he is) that also scored the video game by the same name.

There are some expanded features on the film DVD such as the film trailer and blooper reel. This reviewer gives Halo 2 by Jello films a big thumbs up. Run don’t walk to get your copy of this amazing film.                        

( Monkey Boy is being blasted by a laser gun. #1 son is hunting aliens in the lower right  corner.)                                                                                                  

Happy Mother’s Day! May 10, 2008

Hope you enjoy this funny story!

Ever notice how a 4 year olds voice is louder than 200 adult voices?

Several years ago, I returned home from a trip just when a storm hit, with crashing thunder and severe lightning. As I came into my bedroom about 2 a.m., I found my two children in bed with my wife, Karen, apparently scared by the loud storm. I resigned myself to sleeping in the guest
bedroom that night.

The next day, I talked to the children, and explained that it was o.k. to sleep with Mom when the storm was bad, but when I was expected home, please don’t sleep with Mom that night.
They said o.k..

After my next trip several weeks later, Karen and the children picked me up in the terminal at the appointed time. Since the plane was late, everyone had come into the terminal to wait for my plane’s arrival, along with hundreds of other folks waiting for their arriving passengers.

As I entered the waiting area, my son saw me, and came running shouting, “Hi, Dad! I’ve got some good news!”

As I waved back, I said loudly, “What is the good news?”

“The good news is that nobody slept with Mommy while you were away this time!” Alex shouted.

The airport became very quiet, as everyone in the waiting area looked at Alex, then turned to me, and then searched the rest of the area to see if they could figure out exactly who his Mom was.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Mama mia May 9, 2008

 How much like your mom are you? Click on the picture to take this fun quiz.

Here’s how mine turned out. It was pretty right on until the last 2 sentences.

You two are definitely related.

Sometimes you and your mom finish each other’s sentences, and sometimes you feel like you’re speaking different languages. It’s convenient when you know what she’s thinking, but sometimes her advice is the last thing you want to hear. You and your mom are alike enough that you know exactly which buttons to push when you want to make her mad — and how sweet to be when you need money. Since she knows you so well, your mom has an advantage of her own… she probably knows just how to make you feel guilty, whether or not you’ve done anything wrong.

♥♥♥Happy Mother’s Day!♥♥♥ 

ask me, ask me, ask me May 8, 2008

Monkey Boy is 5 and full of questions about his world. Everyday I am tested on how much I know and how much I don’t know (which I’m discovering is a lot).

The other day he asked me how many butterflies there are in the world. I could have probably looked it up but he didn’t want to know how many kinds there are, he wanted to know how many existed. I tried to fob off a pat answer, “Oh millions, I would imagine honey.”

“No really, mom. There has to be at least a hundred million thousand.”

“I would imagine there are at least that many, yes.”

Then there was the time he asked me how many eyelashes we get in our lifetime.

“And if they fall out so we can make wishes then that’s how many wishes we would get in our life, right?”

“Right.”

“So my wish will come true.” Since Monkey Boy always wishes for a motorcycle when he blows his eyelash off my finger, I seriously doubt it (I told him he can’t have one until I’m dead).

Some of the questions are tougher then others. Some I don’t want to answer at all. I just can’t pop his nothing-bad-ever-happens-to-me balloon. And then there are the ones I tell him to go and ask his father. Then I hide just around the corner and snicker my ass off as DH tries to come up with an answer.

But every once in a while he asks me one that stops me in my tracks and makes me think.

“Why did it take God 6 days to make the world? Why don’t those people have food? Can’t they just go to the grocery store like you do? Why does that man have only one leg when everyone else has two? Why do the soldiers have to fight the wars?”  

Why indeed, honey.

 

Blog, blog, blogitty blog May 8, 2008

Why do I blog?

Someone asked me this just the other day and I really didn’t know how to answer them.

Oh sure, I like to see my name in print. Obviously, I’m enamored with the sound of my own voice and think I’m the most brilliant person on the planet. And of course, I’m always right. The giant puffs of hot air I generate have done wonders for my skin. I have to like that people read what I write and seem to get some enjoyment out of it. Even going so far as to tell me that I made them spew coffee all over their monitor. And if I had to add up all the LOL’s I’ve gotten, I bet it would be well into double digits. For some reason, people seem agree with me. And who wouldn’t like that?

Yeah, really, when I think about it… why wouldn’t I blog? Why wouldn’t anybody?

So tell me… Why do you blog? And if you don’t, why do you read and/or comment on blogs? And if you’re usually a lurker, I’d really like to hear from you so don’t be shy…